Monday, January 30, 2017
Freedom From Judgment
People can be really mean. What's been said can stick with someone for days, weeks, or years after it's said. I think all too often people forget the power of words- they can help heal or they can inflict lasting wounds.
I used to take what people said personally. When someone said something mean about me I'd get upset because I wanted to be liked. Let me tell you middle and high school girls can be especially cruel and far too many tears were wasted over rumors and judgments that were the furthest thing from the truth.
Luckily with age comes wisdom and I can happily say that what people say or think about me no longer affects me. I have developed a very thick skin. A big part of not caring about what other people think of me comes from working in a newsroom. Let me tell you that a newsroom can be very cruel place. You see things on a day to day basis that most people will never see- crime scenes, horrific accidents, etc. These things affect you and you have to find a way to disconnect. It sounds horrible, but eventually you become desensitized to things, but as a reporter you have to take your thoughts and emotions out of the equation so you can do your job. Broadcasting is also a very competitive field and sadly a lot of who gets a job can boil down to how someone looks. I have had news directors tell me that they love the story I covered, but they don't like how my face looks on camera. If I took every comment that I've received like that personally I would wear a bag over my head 24/7.
Mean people say mean things because they are often insecure about something in their own life or they are just jealous. The other day I shared on instagram that a man approached me at the gym and told me that my calves were too muscular. His comment never affected me at any level and I never got mad. As I shared in my post I actually feel sorry for him because he feels the need to try to degrade others to make himself feel good. Kindness wins you more friends every time. Honestly I am glad he said his comment to me and not someone else who would have fretted over his words. I love my legs, calves included. Are they really muscular? Yup. I like how strong my legs are. My legs enable me to run long distances, lift heavy weights, skate, dance, and live life.
Now when people say mean things they just bounce off of me. I don't give their words one thought or second of my time. It's simply not worth it. Why spend your life worrying about what other people think of you? There are going to be people who will never like you and no matter what you will never be good enough for them. Why would you want to waste valuable energy on such people? People who are worthy of your time are those who love you unconditionally and could care less about how you look.
It has definitely taken time for me to get to where I am in my journey. I did not wake up one day and just decide that I was no longer going to care what people thought about me. Constantly caring about what other people thought of me was draining. I was so busy trying to please people, some of who I really did not care for, that I lost my sense of self. Instead of trying to please people I began to work at being good at things that made me happy. I worked toward being a good reporter, good daughter, good friend, and I have found fulfillment in those roles.
It is incredibly freeing to not worry about what others think about you. I don't care if that man thinks my calves are too muscular, or if someone thinks I shouldn't lift heavy weights, or if I'm not pretty enough to be on camera. I really mean it when I say I have never felt so free in my life.
The journey may not be easy, but it is so worth it. I laugh more freely, I dance like no one is watching, and I live life without limits because I know who I am. I am happy with who I am and my happiness does not depend on other people and what they think of me, and neither should yours. Your happiness should come from within and from knowing you are loved unconditionally by the creator of the universe.
Posted by Rachael Miner