It's OK to Change

I've been trying to gather my thoughts for this for a long time. 

Those who know me know I'm blunt and to the point, but I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I got to the point a number of months ago where I just wasn't happy. I'm not an unhappy person in general, I'm pretty happy go lucky, so this was a frustrating place for me to be.

If you know anything about reporting you probably know it's a 24/7 job. The hours are long, the pay stinks, and even when you're "off work" you're never really off because you have to keep in touch with what's going on. It wasn't the long hours or being away from all my family that brought me to that place. I genuinely love my job and find it incredibly fulfilling. 

Rather, while I was all makeup and smiles on camera off camera my personal life was a mess. There's no other way to put it. I was in a relationship (not sure you could even call it a relationship at that point) that instead of adding happiness, it sucked the life out of me. I was also doing less and less for myself while putting more and more into my job as an escape. There's nothing wrong with wanting to succeed at work, but it's also not worth losing your sense of self over. 

I finally took a step back and made some changes. I got rid of the relationships that were pulling me down and starting reinvesting my time (the little time I'm not working) in ways that made me happy. I started doing yoga again, hanging out with friends more, going out to grab drinks or food, working out with friends (something I normally don't do), and just living more. 

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm happier than I have been in a long time. My friends have noticed how much happier I am and have been commenting on it. 

I didn't want to hurt feelings of anyone, but you have to do what's best for you. For me it was getting out of relationships that dragged me down. Now do I expect every relationship friends or otherwise to be perfect? Absolutly not. There will be disagreements, but there's a difference between disagreeing and tearing another person down. All of my friends and I offer constructive criticism to one another, but we're never mean about it. We're also the first to tell one another what an amazing job they did and tell one another how beautiful we look. Those are the kind of relationships I want in my life. I know those girls have my back no matter what and if I needed them they'd come in a hurry.

It's ok to grow and change, in fact it's only natural. I'm not the person I was a year ago or even six months ago and I'm totally ok with that. Had I not gone through those rocky months I wouldn't be where I am now, which is much happier and genuinely living, not just surviving. 

Change is necessary and it's part of life. Don't feel like you can't change because you absolutely can. It might be painful, messy, and throw you in situations you never thought you'd find yourself in but that's how you grow. I've grown so much personally and professionally in the past few months and I'm pretty happy with the person I am. Of course I'm still growing and changing, but that's the fun of life. I'll never settle with being just ok and neither should you.